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Its only the end of the beginning. [Aug. 12th, 2005|05:27 pm]
[mood |giddygiddy]
[music |Fall Out Boy- Sugar, We're Going Down <33]

It's Friday, August 12th, and I swear... only like, 3 days have passed since Warped tour, but it's been a week and a day. I've been with Matt for a week. I've been to school for 3 days, although: when we go there, and were sitting in homeroom- it felt like we'd never left. Only like we'd been on a long weekend, or a fall break or something equally insignifigant to time. But it was 3 months. && I wouldnt change a second of it. Ever. Things have finally started to look up; plans are taking shape, and Im smiling all the time again. My real smiles too, not just the ones I keep in reserve so people dont realize how unhappy I am underneath. [I blame Mrs Howard for makeing me such a lovely actor.]

Theres so much that I feel like I should say, but... I just CANT say it. Not because I dont want to, but because for some reason, I dont know how. A very rare thing in my life, for me to be speechless. Normally I dont shut-up. Whoops.

Matt makes me so happy- that I swear Im going to burst. Am I in love with him? No- currently, Im not. & I dont exoect him to be in love with me either. But I really REALLY like him. He makes me feel beautiful, and graceful [maybe becuase he's clumiser that I?] and just... fun to be around. There's just something about him that makes me smile so easily, and just feel so comfortable; like us dating isnt the random & sudden thing that it is- that it's always been. You know, it was just a long time coming. which is cool with me. I guess I can be patient, after all. =] Point: ALY. Werider- I had the biggest crush on him like, 2 years ago when we met at Kens club. There was so much crap going on then, and things in his life had been making him so depressed, I had just wanted to crawl into his arms and make him smile, laugh, anything to help him feel better. Protect him, even. & now- that's what I can do. now, it's part of my job description. It makes me smile to know that I can always be there for him to depend on. & it makes me smile even harder to know that he wants to be there for me, too.

this year, we're going out with a bang.
unless we decide to stay in. <33

i love.

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